Borderlands

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Eons ago, the galaxy was ruled by the Eridians, a mysterious, advanced race that somehow vanished from existence. Since their disappearance, the far less capable human race has flourished like frantically procreating wildebeests.

Still, even those sometimes slow-witted human beasties realize that Eridian secrets are still out there to be found. And rumors suggest there’s a vault of said treasures hidden somewhere on the wasteland planet of Pandora. It’s a desolate world filled with dangerous creatures, savage gangs of killers and, of course, a huge number of “vault hunter” adventures looking for the score of a lifetime.

Pandora also happens to be the home world of a woman named Lilith. She, however, left that planet long ago. This skilled, seasoned bounty hunter couldn’t care less about vaults and hidden technological treasure. In fact, she detests Pandora itself. You couldn’t pay her to step foot on that traitorous world again.

Well … maybe you could.

Because when a powerful and wealthy guy named Atlas offers Lilith an astronomical sum of money, she reluctantly shuttles back to her home planet for the job. But it will only be for as long as it takes to rescue this guy’s kidnapped daughter and get back out, you can be sure of that!

However, when Lilith touches down on this junkyard world, unexpected things come flying at her from every direction.

For one thing, an obnoxious chatterbox of a robot named Claptrap becomes her constant companion (sorta like Jar Jar Binks with a wheel). A military commander named Knoxx and her army of soldiers show up to blast away at Lilith, too. Gangs of rabid psychopaths come screaming at her out of every nook and cranny.  And even Atlas’ daughter, Tiny Tina, starts throwing bombs and grenades her way when she draws near.

What’s going on?

Well, it seems everybody thinks Tiny Tina is the key to that secretive alien treasure vault that humanity is seeking. There’s cloning science and even special powers in the mix. And, of course, that desperate dad, Atlas, is just in it for the power and cash as well.

All Lilith can say is … “Arrgghh!

Why didn’t she just stay where she was, blasting away at bloodthirsty crooks and wanted felons? You know, where it was safe.

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